hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
I'm bleeding and have questions
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
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