Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
I'm both gender and math confused
Randomize
