Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
there is glitter all over my balls
Randomize
