girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
