i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
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