Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
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