I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
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