Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
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