Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize
