I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
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