Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
Randomize
