Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
Randomize