i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
Randomize
