This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
Randomize
