i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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