alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
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