There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
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