if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
Randomize
