i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
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