can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
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