we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
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