man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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