brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
I came so hard my ears popped.
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
Randomize
