my soul wont recognize me after tonight
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
porn star boner night. come get it.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Randomize
