I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
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