shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Randomize
