Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
Randomize
