We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
Randomize
