there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
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