What a fucking waste of an outfit
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
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