it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
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