I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
Randomize
