So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Randomize
