what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
Randomize
