chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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