just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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