Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
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