Three words: puerto rican gang bang
Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
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