I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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