I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
Randomize
