I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
