I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
Randomize