You're a womanizer and a bitch.
I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize