Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
FUCK WHALES
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
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