dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
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