i can't believe i had my finger in that
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
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