Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
He is such a slut. More and more my type.
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
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