my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Randomize
