Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
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