the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
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