In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
