Your tits are I can't wait for
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
Randomize
