my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
