I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
pop tarts are not kleenex
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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