The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize